Have you ever had weeks where you were a bit more- as the millenials like to to say- “triggered” by some of life’s more innocuous annoyances? I have been having one of those weeks. The little things seem a bit more dramatic than they normally would. And when I was cleaning a bathroom earlier this week, I wondered if you guys could relate to a certain aspect of life that never fails to “trigger” me. Let’s take it down a notch this week to ask you dear readers a question.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THESE ARE?!

Yes, THESE

Do you see?!??

These white plastic dome-cone shaped ornamental pieces represent so much about life and parenthood that I don’t understand.

They sit on the floor of my bathroom. LOOSE. At least everywhere I have lived with children they have been loose. Because, if you have toddlers you KNOW for a fact that they absolutely love to ignore disgusting pieces of plastic they find lying around the house. JUST KIDDING; they LIVE to put random things in their mouths, particularly if those things have been lying near the bottom of a toilet. YUM.

For all of you problem solvers out there, if you REMOVE these said white plastic caps you have this:

What’s left is practically a straight nail (bolt) sticking out. That’s right. A NAIL. If you know anything about those type of things sticking out of floors, a child’s foot will never find it. But my poor adult toes? Sharp, pointy, painful sticky-out-y things, I’m a magnet!

These toilet contraptions represent everything that complicates the daily life of parenting!

Something that serves as a function in our day to day life that my child wants to sneak away, hide, and especially lick and attempt to eat. All of these activities individually and combined are demonstratively apparent with these WHITE TOILET PIECES.

If by chance my 2 year old sneaks into a bathroom and decides NOT to take a swim in the toilet, play tooth brush with the toilet scrubber, unroll the toilet paper, dance on the sink or in the bathtub- she will grab those white caps, wait until she sees me coming close to her, pop one in her mouth and run, making me wonder why those exist in my house at all.

Please, if you understand the anatomy of a toilet, and want to explain it to me, SAVE it. This is the principle of the matter. It’s not JUST that they are little white plastic things every toddler who has ever been in my house has tried to eat. It is the representation of how life exists to challenge us in ways we could have never imagined! How creative the little minds we are nurturing can be. And how pointless trying to make order out of our chaotic little life can seem.

THIS. THESE. Are why I am weeping while scrubbing the pee-stained floor surrounding the toilets in my house.

#TRIGGERED

So, I identified the problem, and I don’t know how to solve it. SOMEONE PLEASE FIX MY DILEMMA. Because right now, my solution, if you can call it that- is THIS: