It is amazing how fast a self imposed deadline can sneak up on you every week.
It doesn’t matter really. I don’t have a huge following; no one is dependent on my writing for anything, and the whole idea of my website is purely hobby.
However, I committed over a year ago to start blogging every week, and I intend to continue for the foreseeable future.
Here is a list of excuses for the week…
I was out of town for 5 whole days, without a husband or kids, and I EXPECTED to be filled with inspiration to blog. I knew I would have minimal free time but assumed I would be typing my thoughts away while sitting alone in a decadent hotel. Apparently a week of “grown up time” does not give me inspiration.
I really TRY to get ahead to anticipate weeks of zero inspiration.
But without children, I was NOT more productive than in an average week.
Being kid free, knowing they were having a blast and being well cared for, had its luxuries: I drank, dined WITHOUT sharing; except for one decadent chocolate torte split with 5 other spoons- hardly the same. I slept alone, and even though I stayed up late and woke up early, the stretches of night were uninterrupted and quiet. I entertained SO MANY grown up conversations with old friends and new, walked, explored, visited, learned, participated, and engaged in life in a very NON stay-at-home mom way.
I had fun.
I slept well.
I went to a zoo without my children.
I enjoyed.
I was not guilt ridden.
I also was not sad it was over either.
I wasn’t particularly inspired.
However, I was reminded why I initially wanted to start blogging. In what is arguably the most important, productive, and awe inspiring time in my life, it can often FEEL fruitless. The end of a GREAT day with my kids usually means that life around me has fallen apart. A GREAT DAY with my kids usually means there is food, clothes, dirt, and often sticks all over the floor of my house. I won’t be able to get into bed because it’s covered in books. It also means that the time-out chair is front and center, there are tissues from tears (sometimes mine), there are laundry piles to be washed, and a sink full of dirty dishes.
I am confident this is how it is supposed to be some days.
However, I realized that in my day-to-day life, “follow through” was being lost in many of my actions because it really didn’t matter at the end of the day. I wanted to be doing something in my life that felt finished.
I blog because I am working on the habit of completion: keeping in my life the routine of a set “project” that gets worked on and then completed at the end of the week. So I have been writing a blog- come hell, high water, or a trip out of town! Poor planning on my part sometimes means my editor and I are cramming it all into a Wednesday night. It can feel silly when my Thursday morning deadline is self imposed; yet the satisfaction of actually completing something has been worth the effort.
I nearly didn’t write a blog this week because I wasn’t inspired- but now that I’ve completed one, it certainly feels good.