This too shall pass.
(My thoughts during a difficult parenting DAY.)
But it shan’t. And I’ll never sleep again and be miserable forever.
(My thoughts during a difficult parenting NIGHT.)
There is nothing quite like the early parenting years of being in a constant rotation of sleep and babies that make your days and nights roll together like a piece of sushi. When I have been on a newborn schedule- postpartum OR foster mom hormones running rampant- you can look at me cross eyed and I may or may not burst into tears. I can be short tempered and cranky. I used to assume, silly me, that as baby gets older it will get better. But guess what? Sometimes a “sleep trained” 2 year old wakes up. Or a three year old. And I don’t know for sure, but I’ll bet you a 4 and 5 year old may have a bad dream, need to go potty, or may need something or other in the middle of the night. (Nothing can make me more upset than if my kids are sleeping great and I wake up for no reason and can’t sleep. Sometimes you can’t blame the kids.)
I have come to terms with the fact that there is such a thing as nighttime parenting. For some of us, this is VASTLY different than day time parenting. I get more sinful, more willful, more selfish, as the day wears on. I know I’m not the only parent that has dreaded or is currently dreading the nighttime wake-ups. There are groups, books, blogs and lifestyles dedicated to the avoidance, solution, and management of night time parenting drama.
Sleep is so important. Just like eating your vegetables, playing, running, potty training and kid fundamentals. Sleep is like eating your vegetables, needed and works best if done habitually. However, you can skip a few broccoli bites here and there and be ok, but you are going to notice RIGHT away, if you’re not getting regular sleep.
Although this is something most of us understand (theoretically at least), BEFORE kids, nothing can quite prepare you for the deeply disconcerting problems that come from sleep deprivation as a parent. And what’s worse than sleep deprivation? Being USED to sleep deprivation. Then when you finally do get sleep again (after weeks, months, or years of disturbances) you begin to rely on it again- so much so that when you were once used to nightly wake-ups, now being awoken even once during a week can send you into a tailspin! It is a vicious cycle of sleepless insanity!
I have blogged about parenting, and even blogged about things I might be getting together or even have together in this reality. But let me be real here- night time has never been my strong suit. Nights, especially in these early parenting years have brought copious amounts of panic. Panic that have shocked me to my core. I didn’t know I was capable of waking up in a cold sweat with a racing heart because I thought I heard a crib creak with movement! Yet, there are SWEET night time moments that have been equally as shocking. If you are so blessed as to get a glimpse of your sleeping babies, or have had the privilege of rocking, swaying, or soothing a baby or toddler back to peacefulness, it can cancel the anxiety of sleep deprivation. CAN. Doesn’t always though.
So fellow parents I have nothing tangible for you. I just wanted to recognize and show solidarity for the unique and completely different type of parenting energy required of you after 8 p.m.
The Parent’s Sleep Prayer
God, grant me the composure to surrender the sleep I do not get; the courage to get out of bed with a good attitude when called for, and the wisdom to GO to sleep when I am tempted to watch a show.
Amen
